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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! It’s 7:00 in the morning, and guess who’s at the door. It’s your boyfriend’s mother. You answer it, in a rage. Then you go get her son, because she wants to speak to him. Ten minutes after his mother’s incessant rambling, your boyfriend comes back in. You ask what she wanted.

“Oh, she just bought us a house phone, because she can’t get a hold of me on my cell.”

“We can’t afford a house phone!”

“It’s okay, she said she’d help us pay for it.”

If you have ever been in a situation like this with your boyfriend and his mother, there is a good chance he may be a momma’s boy. Whether she entices him with money, in order to keep him on her “leash,” or she calls him in the middle of your vacation for something pointless that could have waited; dealing with this type of woman is not a piece of pie by any means. This kind of parental-child bond is unhealthy, and can ruin your relationship if not handled carefully.

There are more chances of him doing the bidding of his momma than yours and if you still want to be with him, the going will not be easy and the chances of break up are quite high in such cases, unless you have an extraordinary amount of patience, perseverance and tolerance to go through this ordeal. It may also be that he will dance to both your tunes, but will always side with his mother. There is always an okcupid app that you can consult for more information but I will share my own story to explain the matter in detail.

I have found, from personal experience, that it seems things only get worse as time goes by when you are in a relationship with a momma’s boy. He may change and eventually stand up to his mother, which could send her through the roof. However, you have to ask yourself, is this something I can live with for the rest of my life, if he does not stand up to her? If the answer is no, you have 2 options. Either you can stay with him and wait it out, or you can break up. The answer is never simple, especially if he is a great guy who treats you well and has many qualities you are looking for in a partner.

Let’s say you decide to stay with your partner. The first step to improvement is to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. Do not be hostile or poke fun at him, as this will make him angry, and he will always side with his mother. Let him know that her 5am calls are not acceptable, and that when he spends hours every single day at his parents house it makes you feel left out and unappreciated. Another important aspect of communicating, is not to go to his mother. She will be argumentative, and you will leave feeling like a piece of plastic.

One thing you should never do in a relationship like this, is to try to “top” his mother. Unfortunately, you will never win, and it will only leave you upset and exhausted. You are not his mother; therefore you are not responsible for doing everything for him. Don’t take on that roll. I have noticed that momma’s boys can be hard to live with simply due to the fact that their whole life, their mother has probably done everything for them. Once they move in with a girlfriend, they will subconsciously expect the same thing.

If all else fails, and you just can’t take the drama anymore, leave. You will thank yourself later. If the relationship is affecting you mentally to the point where you’re about to blow your top, do not stick around. Men like this often will never learn, and if you feel it’s not worth your time, move on.

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